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uncle jay~~

♥ you =)

lost not found.

at times,

you’re confused.

you fear, you worry.

you don’t say a word, do a thing.

all you want is just a quite windy night,

lovely rhythm,

and the chest where you could find a piece of calm…

Love Story meets Viva La Vida – Piano Cello – by Jon Schmidt

i like love story and viva la vida, can’t believe the father made up such a great combination for his daughter.

^^

CYING

i’m just inspired to yell my heart out here,

for some reason.

so…

there you go~.

1. I love money. oh yes. i’m so crazy about money that i spend almost 3/5 of my life thinking how to make money. i know, to date i’m still making no progress… anyway, who knows the future~?! hmm~?!?!?!?!? okay… i just L.O.V.E. money.

2. I love nature. i love trees, pastures, boulevards, hills, mountains, wind, squirrels… yeah, the only species that i deemed as cute and adorable. not into sea though. it feels more practical and real to step on the earthy ground then hanging yourself in the wavy water.

3. I am a perfectionist. i request 100% effort. well, maybe 95, at least. i still can’t understand why people don’t DO their best when they are capable of doing so. why keep the other 10, 20, or 50%? i have zero tolerance on this ilk. i tried but i can’t.

4. I’m a born-to-be care taker, but the privilege is given only for people that i care. bearly give it a shit if you don’t matter to me. but i bet you’ll feel being loved and taken care of, if you’re important to me. like i said. i’m a perfectionist. rich love has been scattered to the loved ones. that’s why i have no extra for others.

5. ………..

i think that’s all. the 4 most biggest traits that made CYING up~

know what i hate the most?

promises.

sweet,

euphonic

PROMISES~!

that are mere craps and lies in disguise.

sickening, annoying, heart-breaking, but soothing. oh yeah~ of course it’s soothing, cause the wordings delivered cost one nothing, yet it’s a candy bar for you and i, to eat, to munch, and  to hushh…… that’s all~!. and when you think the candy bar is so tasty that you want more, she’s gone. thousand miles away from you worrying that you would want something from her,

again.

people gives you promises, because at that very moment, when you were so sad, pissed, and hopeless that you needed somethin’ nice to listen to, they promised you somethin’, just for the sake of cooling you off, sealing your big irritating mouth, aaannnddd~ to portray the very good image of herself.

“you know what, we’re besties. i really don’t wanna lose a bosom friend like you. remember, whenever you need me, i’ll be there for you. just a call and i’ll be there beyond your eyes in split second…”

bla bla bla bla bla.

fulaweh~~~

freaking impressive man~ really impressive.

so touched and comforting.

but then,

when the times come, when you’re in that very moment of breakdown-edge, when you’ve come to your limit that you need a channel to send your emotional rubbish away and make it vanishes, when you’re freaking desperate for a company…

she’s vaporized.

not once, not twice, but again and again.

i rephrase: when you’re in that very moment of breakdown-edge, when you’ve come to your limit that you need a channel to send your emotional rubbish away and make it vanishes, when you’re freaking desperate for a company… she’s vaporized.

so, if what has been promised before has never been kept, what is it?

it’s truly acceptable when things like this happen, cause we’re sinful human beings who hardly keep promises we made, cause it’s always easier to talk than to do, and i’m one of them too. i promised, i broke them, so i know. i understand. but, what i can’t accept…

is that you were willing to ask for direction to go to some where you don’t know, to meet that person. but when i needed a company badly, when i needed to talk to you after the long piled-up probs that have been chained in my heart for ages,

“i’ve taken my meal,” was all you said.

i won’t take promises seriously, if you ain’t who i concern. if someone who always claimed to be my bosom friend didn’t turn up to be there listen to me when i needed to talk, i’m all right with it. cause it’s normal. but when it happens for few times, i mind. you never realized, but it happened. but then again, what matters most ain’t because of your mere absenteeism~

it’s that you were being indifferent by using a simple sentence “i’ve taken my meal”, when i was waiting for you to come back and have a long talk. and YET~! you were willing to spend time asked for direction spent time to go there to find him, because HE WANTED YOU TO BE THERE~

what the fuck~?!

and since the day you came back till now, you didn’t sound a thing. i know it’s not the reason that you can’t make it, but choose not to make it.

daamn~

what is all this shit about?

oh wait.

maybe i should change my way of reading, interpreting, and concluding.

think i should put it this way~

“you’ve thought too much la dear… things ain’t what you assume you know~?! you shouldn’t be putting your expectiations and assumptions on other people, you shouldn’t expect someone to treat you the way you did to them. you should be relying on yourself instead of hoping someone would share your burden. there’s no true friendship and you should have realized this grandma years ago. don’t be naive. remember? you always like to quote: this world is made of obnoxious prudes and pretenders: none of them is genuine~ “

0_0

all right,

i got it~

in need of mind discharge

yes, i need a release…

there’s too much rubbish in my head, be it good or not, if it can’t help me feel any better do any better, then it’s all mere crap. i need to unload all these shit, it’s too heavy and i’m starting to have hallucination, what the hell~?! @_@”

i need to backpack~~ i need to put myself in mother nature, inhale some cool fresh air, green my eyes, clear every single toxic that’s been left over in my body, everything that i’ve been thinking and eating… they’re all crap~~

i’m so craving for greenish pasture, flourishing trees, serenity, uncle jay…

i’m starving…

in and out,

i’m starving~~

da fei~~

it’s the second week of the new semester, and i’m already doing my homework. this is so not like me… cause usually i’ll leave my work till the very last minute.

i was trying to concentrate, but somehow this fella kept flashing through my mind~~ =_=

sorry hun, you're just sooo adorable that i can't help to upload this one here~~ X>

life without you humming around is fairly boring…

i always got a lotta work to do when you’re here~

argue with you, take care of you, have you to massage my feet, hunt for junk food and eat together , busy looking for crunchy ban jien kuih, pick you up from train station, wait for you to ring my door bell, wash your bedding, dig your waxy ears, enjoy the moment being spoiled by you, cry when you provoke me, laugh when i provoke you, shopping, movies, outrageous debate, hugging the very irresistible big belly…

just can’t help thinking of you~

^^

Protected: THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN~!

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son.parents.daughter

early morning, mom came over and said,

“Ying ah Ying, your tai so very geng hor~~ she pak tor with bro for 7, 8 years already, now everything’s still great and sound. if wanna pak tor, can~ but it has to be in accordance la, like your bro. but then your bro also very different la, cause your bro knows how to think, mature, and he knows how to respect old folks. he’s smart in a way la, he knows how to take care of people especially old folks. wanna find a guy leh gotta find someone like your bro~”

-_-”

bro, if in the end i couldn’t get married and have to stay single, be alone for my entire life time leh~~~ you have to take care of me, i don’t care  >_< you’re too great already… beyond the eyes of old folks and girls, your existance virtually fails all the guys in this world.

Hence~~!

you’d be the cause of me not getting married in the future, if i really do~ cause you’re my bro, the son of my parents, while i’m their daughter~ +_+ so? You Owe Me~~ +.+

REMEMBER~~!!

that’s why you’ve gotta take care of me no matter what~~ =)

if it happens~~ =_=

should i feel happy or what~?! >_<