i love you =)
Posted by: cying on: November 5, 2009
papa mama, love you both a lot.
though i used to blame on you guys for my bad childhood and adolescence, but i know you’ve been trying to shower your love to me as much as you can as i grow older. you call to make sure i’m always safe and sound, make sure i’ve got enough money to spend, make sure that i have healthy diet. then you’ll buy the food i like every time when i’m back in penang, ruffles that costs you 8.99 per pack (the most luxurious snack i ever had so far XD), the muah chi, that special rojak, crab meat dua pan, then nice food in autocity… =D i know that’s the way for you guys to show that you’re pampering me, loving me, taking care of my desire~ XD every time get my car fixed and reload more-than-enough touch & go for me. then every time before i came back to kl, you will pack a lot of seafood, dried stuff, even fruits to us~ as if we can never get those things in kl, and sometimes even snacks so we won’t fall asleep during our journey back home~~ XD i really am glad to have cute adorable parents like you two… love you very very much =)
uncle jay, love you a lot.
you found me when no one else was looking, and you’ve given all you have just to love me, to take care of me, to make sure i’m always great and happy. you broke through all of my confusion, the ups and the downs. you saw my worst and my craziness, when i was fading out, you were always there by my side. when i was still in full disguise, you showed me where i belong, you cracked into me, helping me to find a way out to the real me. you made me shine, you made me happy, you made me feel loved. though my love might not seem real and genuine to you, though we’re breaking up for certain reasons, but i know that someday, we will get back together. this ain’t a break up, it’s just a break for us both to cool off. it might take weeks, months, or years, but i’ll wait. stupid it might seem, but i’m still holding on to the dream that you and i are yearning for, the dream that matters most to us both. i still find it unbelievable that we bumped into each other, it’s just… so like a dream to me. love you much much uncle jay =)
ge and sai b =D
you two are the greatest bros i’ve ever seen, really =D there are a lot of things in my mind and heart that i wanted to tell about you both, but i can’t make it here cause, somehow i just find it freaking awkward to write it out~ XD ge, thanks for always supporting me financially XD well i know that’s very materialistic but also that’s the most practical one, at least to me XD and yeah, a lot of people do envy of me cause i have a big bro like you, i never deny that you are a good bro. i used to think that you’re the greatest man in this world, but when i got together with uncle jay, i realized there’s no such thing as the greatest man. you’re great as a bro, but uncle jay is great as a darling XD okay forget about it if you don’t know what i’m trynna say. but then bro, thanks for taking care of me when i’m the least noticed. thanks for taking care of me when uncle jay’s not around XD
sai b, i do think that you’re the cutest bro i’ve ever seen, even though you already are growing to be a man now, but to me, you’re still a cute little brother that is al~ways adorable XD i used to worry that you would be a typical boy of young generation today, but good thing that you prove me wrong. you’re transforming now, to become a better man that other girls would be drooling over. you are short, yes you are shorter than me, but your mind and heart ain’t smaller than mine, that’s what making you so cute yet old man at the same time XD good thing that you have dou may now, really~~ =D
love you guys so~so~ much♥
=)
the door to adulthood
Posted by: cying on: July 17, 2009
to whom it may concern~
if you notice, you’ve just entered into another stage of your life. a stage where you find it hard to cope with, a stage where you find it hard to face with, a stage where you’ll find gazillions of annoying problems just keep gushing out and flooding you that you can barely take it, a stage where you’ll find yourself always standing at the edge of the breakdown - a stage that you don’t really and can’t really enjoy. well… that’s the door to your adulthood 
do you know why 21 year-old birthday is seen as a big thing? cause that’s the time you have your freedom and power that are meant merely for adults. amazing isn’t it? but that also means, you no longer have others to bear for your responsibilities; be it good or bad, you have to face it, you have to deal with it, cause with great power comes with great responsibilities.how you face your day, what’s the next step that you’re gonna take, what are the consequences of every single thing that you do, how to kick the unpleasant incidents out of the frame and get on with your life… you just have to learn all these lessons my dear, cause there’s no other way to avoid it. e.ve.ry. single thing that happened happened for reasons.
when you have problems with your loved ones, it’s a lesson for you to learn how to take care of each other and how to be more understanding. or maybe, it’s a lesson for you to understand yourself, a lesson for you to learn how to be responsible in a relationship, or how to love someone… it could be just anything my dear, and only you will know what’s going on. just remember one thing: the process of learning is always painstaking, but no matter how bad it is, it won’t last. just don’t keep yourself in the small dark box for too long, all right? it’s time to learn how to rely on yourself instead of running away from it. cause in real life, many’s the time you can only rely on yourself instead of others.
when you just keep having problems with other people, perhaps it’s time for you to learn how to deal with people and your very own emotions? perhaps you need to learn how to take things easily and concede in certain circumstances that you just have to? a lesson to learn to accept people as who they are? as long as there are human, aversions exist. you can’t expect everyone to think like you, expect everyone to be as mature as you do, expect everyone to respect with courtesy, expect everyone to be efficient and effective like you do… you can’t my dear, cause everyone’s different. different species, different genes, different background, different education system, every single difference that has been integrated for years made up who she is today. so the only thing to get along with them is to accept them, ignore the bads but converge on their goods. you can’t just absorb all the negative emotions resulted from others’ mistakes and make yourself unhappy all the time can you~?! unless if that’s what you want for the rest of your life. learn to take things easily, change your perspective, be more understanding, you will be happier. and when you’ve mastered the the art of dealing with people, you’ll find out, life isn’t really about resentment, anger and complain a~ll the time
p/s: i ain’t there by your side 24/7, but i do want you to lead a good life, and i really do hope that you’re doing fine over there.
love,
chiaw chiaw ♥
Protected: dear…
Posted by: cying on: June 12, 2009
lost not found.
Posted by: cying on: May 9, 2009
- In: x-ray
- Leave a Comment
at times,
you’re confused.
you fear, you worry.
you don’t say a word, do a thing.
all you want is just a quite windy night,
lovely rhythm,
and the chest where you could find a piece of calm…
Love Story meets Viva La Vida – Piano Cello – by Jon Schmidt
Posted by: cying on: May 9, 2009
- In: music
- Leave a Comment
i like love story and viva la vida, can’t believe the father made up such a great combination for his daughter.
^^
CYING
Posted by: cying on: May 8, 2009
i’m just inspired to yell my heart out here,
for some reason.
so…
there you go~.
1. I love money. oh yes. i’m so crazy about money that i spend almost 3/5 of my life thinking how to make money. i know, to date i’m still making no progress… anyway, who knows the future~?! hmm~?!?!?!?!? okay… i just L.O.V.E. money.
2. I love nature. i love trees, pastures, boulevards, hills, mountains, wind, squirrels… yeah, the only species that i deemed as cute and adorable. not into sea though. it feels more practical and real to step on the earthy ground then hanging yourself in the wavy water.
3. I am a perfectionist. i request 100% effort. well, maybe 95, at least. i still can’t understand why people don’t DO their best when they are capable of doing so. why keep the other 10, 20, or 50%? i have zero tolerance on this ilk. i tried but i can’t.
4. I’m a born-to-be care taker, but the privilege is given only for people that i care. bearly give it a shit if you don’t matter to me. but i bet you’ll feel being loved and taken care of, if you’re important to me. like i said. i’m a perfectionist. rich love has been scattered to the loved ones. that’s why i have no extra for others.
5. ………..
i think that’s all. the 4 most biggest traits that made CYING up~
know what i hate the most?
Posted by: cying on: April 20, 2009
promises.
sweet,
euphonic
PROMISES~!
that are mere craps and lies in disguise.
sickening, annoying, heart-breaking, but soothing. oh yeah~ of course it’s soothing, cause the wordings delivered cost one nothing, yet it’s a candy bar for you and i, to eat, to munch, and to hushh…… that’s all~!. and when you think the candy bar is so tasty that you want more, she’s gone. thousand miles away from you worrying that you would want something from her,
again.
people gives you promises, because at that very moment, when you were so sad, pissed, and hopeless that you needed somethin’ nice to listen to, they promised you somethin’, just for the sake of cooling you off, sealing your big irritating mouth, aaannnddd~ to portray the very good image of herself.
“you know what, we’re besties. i really don’t wanna lose a bosom friend like you. remember, whenever you need me, i’ll be there for you. just a call and i’ll be there beyond your eyes in split second…”
bla bla bla bla bla.
fulaweh~~~
freaking impressive man~ really impressive.
so touched and comforting.
but then,
when the times come, when you’re in that very moment of breakdown-edge, when you’ve come to your limit that you need a channel to send your emotional rubbish away and make it vanishes, when you’re freaking desperate for a company…
she’s vaporized.
not once, not twice, but again and again.
i rephrase: when you’re in that very moment of breakdown-edge, when you’ve come to your limit that you need a channel to send your emotional rubbish away and make it vanishes, when you’re freaking desperate for a company… she’s vaporized.
so, if what has been promised before has never been kept, what is it?
it’s truly acceptable when things like this happen, cause we’re sinful human beings who hardly keep promises we made, cause it’s always easier to talk than to do, and i’m one of them too. i promised, i broke them, so i know. i understand. but, what i can’t accept…
is that you were willing to ask for direction to go to some where you don’t know, to meet that person. but when i needed a company badly, when i needed to talk to you after the long piled-up probs that have been chained in my heart for ages,
“i’ve taken my meal,” was all you said.
i won’t take promises seriously, if you ain’t who i concern. if someone who always claimed to be my bosom friend didn’t turn up to be there listen to me when i needed to talk, i’m all right with it. cause it’s normal. but when it happens for few times, i mind. you never realized, but it happened. but then again, what matters most ain’t because of your mere absenteeism~
it’s that you were being indifferent by using a simple sentence “i’ve taken my meal”, when i was waiting for you to come back and have a long talk. and YET~! you were willing to spend time asked for direction spent time to go there to find him, because HE WANTED YOU TO BE THERE~
what the fuck~?!
and since the day you came back till now, you didn’t sound a thing. i know it’s not the reason that you can’t make it, but choose not to make it.
daamn~
what is all this shit about?
oh wait.
maybe i should change my way of reading, interpreting, and concluding.
think i should put it this way~
“you’ve thought too much la dear… things ain’t what you assume you know~?! you shouldn’t be putting your expectiations and assumptions on other people, you shouldn’t expect someone to treat you the way you did to them. you should be relying on yourself instead of hoping someone would share your burden. there’s no true friendship and you should have realized this grandma years ago. don’t be naive. remember? you always like to quote: this world is made of obnoxious prudes and pretenders: none of them is genuine~ “
0_0
all right,
i got it~
in need of mind discharge
Posted by: cying on: April 14, 2009
- In: my page
- 2 Comments
yes, i need a release…
there’s too much rubbish in my head, be it good or not, if it can’t help me feel any better do any better, then it’s all mere crap. i need to unload all these shit, it’s too heavy and i’m starting to have hallucination, what the hell~?! @_@”
i need to backpack~~ i need to put myself in mother nature, inhale some cool fresh air, green my eyes, clear every single toxic that’s been left over in my body, everything that i’ve been thinking and eating… they’re all crap~~
i’m so craving for greenish pasture, flourishing trees, serenity, uncle jay…
i’m starving…
in and out,
i’m starving~~ 
