and her old soul is still clinging to the too-familiar old shell which she carries and walks with every single day. but in her heart, there is a promise made between her and… still her. a promise that says, “I gotta change.”

she’s smirking…

gee… that sounds soooo familiar again isn’t it~?

yeah, that’s what the girl always says to herself. she al~ways has the same thought of changing herself, dump all the bad habits and negativities and bla bla bla. everybody wants to be a better person deep in their hearts, but everybody keeps having the same thing to change years after years~ XD

it’s not a bad thing though. as long as you have the thought of changing, just do it~! after all, there’s nothing that you’re gonna lose~ XD

her sister and the husband just left. she got up, closed the door and locked everything. within nano second, she thought of what her sis told her this afternoon:

“Why did you still put his picture in your purse? If you have decided, make sure it’s clean and clear. Do you know……”

the girl was sitting there busy chatting with friends, the ears were there listening, but none of the inputs was received. chatting she seems, but the mind understood clearly that she has already filtered what she refused to listen.

the sis ain’t the first one saying this to the girl. almost everybody says it’s good for the two to separate, because of religion, because of his attitudes, because of his nature and stuff. people in her life keep telling her that he’s not good enough for her, he’s unstable, she could find a better one, he will drag her down, he cannot take care of her…

she knows.

she knows much more than anybody else in this world does. but what they can never see, is her bad stuff, the way he treats her and loves her. she knows deeply that he will love her with all he has, she knows what kinda husband he would be, if they really got together. if he really is that bad, they wouldn’t have spent years of time together just to torture herself.

she knows what they do and don’t. she doesn’t need any of these people say any single word about her and her “ex.” she just needs some understanding and time to… to forget. that’s all she’s asking.

the picture will remain there, until the moment comes. if, there is such a moment.

*                    *                        *                      *

there she goes again, wanting to drown herself in sadness and negativity. but the girl then pulls herself out of the cycle. wipes off the liquid, cleans the mess…

see~?!

she’s all right again, knowing the worst will never last